My hero...

We've been watching the Health Bill discussions with interest. My husband has the sole responsibility for his soon-to-be 90 year old father. He's been negotiating the health care system for several years now and I often see him figuratively banging his head against a wall. My husband's father, Wendell, has a whole medical team that treats him. He has a family doctor, a cardiologist (pacemaker), an audiologist (hearing aids), an oncologist (throat cancer), and a pulmonologist (fluid on the lungs). He's been in and out of the hospital and nursing home many times in the last few years. My husband has been there every step of the way; he's arranged for his father's house to be cleaned and cleaned out and put on the market, he's moved him to an assisted living apartment, he takes him to all of his doctors' appointments, coordinates information with all the doctors (you'd think they would do that, wouldn't you?), keeps track of his medications (ditto), handles his finances and VA benefits, buys his snacks and groceries, and brings home his laundry. He visits daily, to the hospital or nursing home and calls twice a day when his dad is in his apartment. Plans for vacations or outings have to be cancelled due to the many emergencies that have come up. He is often called to leave work in order to take his dad to appointments or to the hospital. Once he waited in the emergency room for five hours. Since we live 40 minutes away from him, each trip to and from our house is a half day commitment. His dad's recent hospitalization was due to rapid and dramatic weight loss. He’s not swallowing well and the food that he can swallow does not appeal to him. So, he's facing another feeding tube (he had one while undergoing treatment for throat cancer) and was opposed to it until yesterday, but realized his options are very limited. Now we’re just waiting for the doctors to make the arrangements for surgery. Without insurance, we would be facing hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills. His savings and house would be gone and he would be out on the street. Fortunately, he was and still is a very smart man and made sure his insurance premiums were always paid. When something like this happens, you can’t help but think about the people who can’t afford insurance facing a catastrophe like this one.

My husband comes home at night physically and mentally weary and he has nights when he doesn’t sleep well. I wish I had stock in antacids; we could retire on the dividends. And, all the while, chores at home pile up waiting for a free moment. My husband does all this, works a full-time job, and still manages to keep a smile on his face most of the time. While I’m sorry this is such a frustrating time for him, I know in my heart he would do the same for me, making him my hero. I’ve never met a more responsible man in my life. He is always willing to help a friend, give someone a lift, or move someone. If I have an idea, he’s there with a pad and pencil to plan how to execute it. He’s tilled my gardens, pulled my weeds, dug my pond, assembled my greenhouse, purchased my potting soil and remembered to pick me up a bagel on his way back home. He’s the most wonderful husband, son and father (father by choice, not by birth) and I hope he knows how much I love him. I'm sure there is a special place in heaven for him, filled with the very best camera equipment and lots of subjects to take photographs of, as well as the time to take them.

Bluebird Update: Ann D picked Adam and Eve for my bluebirds. I didn't see them today to pronounce them Adam and Eve, I hope they will be back tomorrow.