Sunday, April 17, 2011

Harry's Law and real life...

I'm a huge fan of Kathy Bates and her new series, Harry's Law, is a winner in my book.  I haven't missed an episode yet (for those of you who know I go to bed early, I record it).  Her summation last week really touched a nerve with me.  She was talking about fractures in a marriage, how lots of little fractures can trigger a really big one and that speech gave me pause.  I have an incident in my life I'm really not proud of and was that big fracture although it did not lead to murder.  I'm not really sure why, because it should have.  In my practice marriage, my ex always thought the grass was greener in other pastures.  He was very attractive; he thought he looked like Burt Reynolds (before the toupee) and even adopted the cowboy hat and tight jeans Burt wore in Smokey and the Bandit.  He would leave phone numbers laying around, he would stay out late and not call, but the straw that broke this camel's back was when I found out he was taking our children (my daughter and his two kids) skating on Tuesday night to meet his current girlfriend.  The children were sworn to secrecy which ate at my daughter who was seven at the time.  As hurtful as his behavior was, using the kids made me ballistic.  What a cruel thing to do to children.  During the argument that followed in our split level home, he was standing on the landing inside the front door and I was in the living room about six steps up.  When I literally could not speak I was so angry, I grabbed a cut glass ashtray off of our coffee table and threw it like a Frisbee at him.  That dinner plate sized ashtray weighed about a pound and a half , had a cut-glass pattern on the bottom and had been a wedding gift.  He ducked (thank God), it hit the paneling along the stairs to the basement and left a huge hole.  If it had hit him, it would have killed him, there isn't any doubt in my mind that I would be doing time for murder.  Needless to say our marriage was over and I cleaned up glass from the carpet for years after that, no matter how often I vacuumed, I could never get it all up.  I had not thought of that fight for years until Harry's Law.  I think no matter how we protest, we all have the capability to commit murder given the right circumstances.  I had never before been that angry and I have never again felt like that.  In fact, to my credit, I've never even had a fight with my husband.  Given a difference of opinion, I give in because I know what lives in the deepest recesses of my soul.  We've had a few ' not speaking' moments' but we've never said anything to each other that was hurtful, we have never raised our voices to each other (well he did once but not because of me), and I'm still as crazy about him today as the day I fell in love with him.  Everyday I know from the bottom of my heart that he justifies the faith I have in him and that he would never do anything to hurt me.


  1. I'm so happy you missed and just think, if he hadn't have been such a &%$#&% you wouldn't have met the love of your ;)
    and you're card is really, really cute! :)

  2. There must a very large dump site with mounds of heavy glass, crystal, and non-bio-degradable plastic ash trays....oh...and don't forget the ones that were on a pedistal!
    Great shoes...adorable card.
    Your story is very moving. I've not seen Harry's Law. May have to check it out and see if it is available online.

  3. It's clear upon reading this it is a time that you are ashamed of, however what you need to remember are the good things that came of it.

    You were able to see that things between you were wrong and there needed to be a catalyst to separate you so you could find the happiness you deserve with your new husband. I am a firm believer, no matter how things bad get, that things happen for a reason and believe me I KNOW that to be true in my own life.

    Thankyou for sharing your life experiences with us. It is that which makes us crafters such a strong community.

    Love Mandy xxx